Weekend Retreat
by scuderia tifosi
Summary: Reboot. When agents, an intern, a minion, and a fan go on a weekend break, hilarity ensues. A parody of a couple of scenes from episode 22 of Azumanga Daioh: The Animation.
1. Photobombing

**The video of the scene this chapter is based on can be found here on YouTube;**  
**Tomo Photobombing:**  
** watch?v=a5WU6Fp94OE**

**All rights belong to their respective owners.**

During an unusually slow time at the Danger HQ, some agents went on a weekend retreat. They stayed at a multi-storey lodge that resemvbled something straight out of Jersey Shore.

Ian the Danger Fan was also there, albeit by coincidence. He couldn't believe his luck. Sitting right there in the reception area, reading the paper, was the white mouse agent he had been following since he could remember. Seeing a photo opportunity, he took out his phone, turned it sideways to landscape, and prepared to take a picture.

Also seeing a photo opportunity was an energetic teenaged gal. She took the initiative and ran in front of the camera just as he pressed the shutter.

Ian lost it, and flew sideways, literally, with the phone still in his hands.

* * *

The following day, Ian was on a balcony, overlooking a nearby cliff. DM and Penfold, who was wearing his Giraffe Warrior onesies, were performing some calistetics. Ian took out his camera and turned it sideways. He looked over his side. There was no sign of that energetic teen from yesterday. Her room was the farthest from where he was, and the last he checked, she was still snoring soundly. He prepared to take a good picture when she ran out of nowhere and right into the frame.

Once again, he lost it. He flew sideways, still holding the phone, and sailed over the railing and fell.

Pandaminion, who was staying in the room below, happened to be looking out of the window. He said, "Wow, that kid is flying." as Ian was heard screaming.

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	2. Frying Pan Wake-up Call

**The video clip of the scene this chapter is based on can be found here on YouTube;**

**Frying Pan Wake-up:**  
** watch?v=WKbALlgvUHs**

**All rights belong to their respective owners.**

An intern, who only just joined the agency at the start of the week, woke up late, as usual. She came from Tulsa, Oklahoma. As no one could remember her name, she was referred to by her hometown.

"Oh, good, you're awake." said Penfold. The intern sighed. "Now that just leaves the professor."

"But I have a feeling that she would be angry if we wake her, so I can't bring myself to do it." added Colonel K.

Tulsa then got up. "Then I'll go wake her up." She said, in a half-dazed state, as she left her room and walked past the hamster and the colonel. _I've always wanted-_ she thought, still half-awake, while going down the stairs, _-to try waking someone up with a frying pan._ She thought of banging a spatula to a frying pan in front of a sleeping Squawkencluck. She entered the kitchen, still half-dazed, and looked in the cabinet underneath the counter. She reached in and searched until she got a pan, or what she thought was a pan. She also somehow forgot the spatula. After leaving the kitchen, still half-awake, she walked past DM, who immediately realized that something was off.

* * *

In Squawkencluck's room, the door opened. Tulsa was standing at the doorway. The professor woke up. "Oh, its you, intern." She noticed her vacant expression and something shining beneath her. The professor looked down and noticed a chef's knife in the intern's right hand. She screamed in fright.

Meanwhile, in the dining, Danger Hedgehog squeezed out far too much ketchup on an omelet. Some got onto Danger Mole's right cheek. "Ew, you splattered." The mole then wiped some off and licked it.

Back in the room, Squawkencluck stared uncomfortably at the intern. After a long pause, Tulsa broke the silence. "You woke up." There was another pause, and she turned away and exited. "Now I couldn't wake you up." Penfold was heard exclaiming. "Oh my... what is that knife doing in your hand?" Tulsa then woke up. "..uh? What? I was holding a frying pan. Where'd it go?" Penfold screamed, as DM was heard shouting "Get down!" The intern, who was only just getting up to speed, asked, "Penfold, do you know what happened?"

_There's a knife flying... in the kitchen?_ thought Squawkencluck.

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